How Life Has Changed

Long foregone is the time of blog posts being what I looked forward to writing. It seems to be a thing of the past, an online journal to express ones thoughts, feelings, actions. This mystifies me, it also troubles me on a deep level.

This blog was a gift to me by one of my life’s heroes, Editor B. I grew up in a lot of ways watching his antics on local cable access. The show wasn’t exactly “suitable” for kids of my age, but I had already experienced much of what was in the show anyway. None of it was new to me.

Since then, he’s also my friend – not just a hero. My heroes in life have always been regular people. I’m not sure why people get attracted to celebrity, nor why people want to be like celebrity.

I documented much of my life between 2006 and 2015 on this blog. It’s contents hold a treasure trove of “me” in it. This also documents the change in my writing and vocabulary, as I only have an 8th grade English education. I may hold an Associate’s degree from Indiana University, but this blog helped me get there.

But life has changed for me, in significant ways that I’m still trying to figure out. I’ve found myself retreating from social media, and society. Work is no longer the adventure I loved but the thing that sustains me. My love of technology is just something I handle now. I’ve changed. I still don’t know if it’s for the better or not.

These days, I have been depleted of energy due to my ongoing skin disorder primarily. Slowly but surely I have been restoring my fathers 1988 Chevrolet Camaro IROC-Z. He purchased it new, with my stepmother eventually selling it to me after his passing.

Me and the car when it was new
Present day

Speaking of that, the anniversary of his death is approaching. It’s placed me into a bit of a downward spiral emotionally. He was the singular true champion of my life. Since then, so much has happened that only his voice, his mind, and his actions would have helped me with.

I have my girlfriend of 3 1/2 years, I have my daughters, and I have my ROX friends. I also have lots of online friends, but that hole in my life from the loss of my father still weighs heavily on my soul. Many times, I still feel lost and completely alone, even when surrounded by many who care for and love me. It’s baffling, and mightily frustrating.

I will be moving this blog to a new domain soon per Editor B’s polite ask. I dare not remove this archive of my life from the Internet. I will always want this as a place to let those inner thoughts out, to show progress on projects, and to give a written record of the life I have led. I would have loved my father having something such as this in his time. I don’t know where it will move to yet, but it will be something that signifies me.

About Lee

A simple man, with a very complicated life.
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