As of this moment, I’m basically starting over in life. Not a move I wanted to make, but I digress.
I’m starting with my girls. My first mission is to revamp what is now their space. I just purchased a very nice bunk bed for them and will eventually have their room stocked as it should be. My now ex-wife took everything of my youngest daughter’s except for her toiletries. I’m not asking for them back either, like a phoenix I will rebuild. Dad’s place will be special to her. The home she came to from the hospital will always be a home for her, even if she isn’t there full time.
Then it’s a matter of building a new identity for myself. I built my adult identity as a family man, but I have no family now. I don’t expect or want a new one either. I’m my own man now. I’m not going to get anywhere by sitting at home like a bump on a log either. It’s not going to help me, it’s only going to hurt me. I need to get out there, unfortunately the peer group I typically hang out with is either 15 years older or younger than me. It works against me in many ways. I need new friends, I need single friends. I need new experiences.
The first step is to blank the canvas that was created in my home. I have a lot (and I do mean a lot) of holes to patch. Once I get that completed, I think my mind can finally start to settle. I’m just having some trouble with motivation.
I have a room mate, and I feel like I’ve won the lottery with this guy. My home is cleaner than I think it ever has been at this point. I only wish he would be here longer, because before you know it he will be leaving for his home in Oregon.