It Doesn’t Feel Right

Today is my first full day back at work since my surgery, and it doesn’t feel right.  I would have never started or even thought of working at IU if it weren’t for Rachel.  I wouldn’t be a man with an open mind and heart if it weren’t for Rachel.

I wouldn’t be the man I am today if it weren’t for Rachel.  The woman who has shown through her actions that those things mean little to nothing to her.  She’s said many times that she “needs a fresh start.”  I don’t think she realizes that she doesn’t need a new relationship to have a fresh start.

Yet here I am.  Sitting at this help desk contemplating the past, because that’s what it really is.  I’m thinking about a person that no longer exists.  A figment of my imagination as it were.  I only want her to get better, and she’s in counseling but I haven’t seen how she’s benefited from it, other than giving up and letting go of her life.

On Saturday, my entire life will feel this way.  She’s moving out with the assistance of her new lover, his family and her family.  I’ve been tasked to stay away and keep our daughter.  It’s my first official weekend of visitation.

I know I’ll heal from this.  It will just take time.

About Lee

A simple man, with a very complicated life.
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